ADAlim

two guys gone because i said " u not happy then break up lar" .. then they pissed.. they gone.. now tis issue come again.. have to say here that if i say breakup means i really no solution le.. i wanna scare you. i wanna scare you so that u will stop the quarrel and say sorry.. too bad~ all 3 guys i tried all give me pissed response. ya.. then i know i going to lose my guy like tt if i mention again. but i wanna say is I DONT MEAN WHAT I SAY EVEN THOUGH ITS A SERIOUS MATTER. having a very bad headache now. don feel like going sch tmr but have to. got to wait till he online.. my punishment.. if he nv come online i still mus wait.. is my punishment tt i wun say again.. v sad now.. sometimes feel i deserve better guyz. but too bad tis is the only guy i want and love.. sucidial attempt was high jus now.. even now im still crying.. i often laughed at ppl hu say wanna attempt suicide.. now i noe you cant help it.. now that the scar is there.. tink it really hurts me alot.. im numbed. i m afraid to c u now. so afraid.. yet i wanna c u . what do i want?? i dono. i jus noe i cannot slp now.. having a v v v v v bad headache.. but no cannot slp cos i gonnna cry later.. then tmr face v zhong again. haiz.. guys find me irritating.. irritating and detestable.. why?? cos i anyhow say tings.. don u all noe tt it hurts for me to say it?? if u jus accept my apology and say " ya its ok" den ok le.. you all oways apologise to us we say ok.. now what?? why like tt??.. too bad i really go too deep le.. if not how i really wan to save myself frm all this pain too.